Stupid Internal Organs

Fun things from yesterday:

• Bearing with stabbing pains in my abdomen that have been present since last Wednesday
• Going to see the doctor
• Diagnosed with probable appendicitis
• Being told to get an ‘urgent’ CAT scan
• Drinking two large canisters of Barium Sulfate for “contrast”
• Being told to drop my pants TWICE in one day
• Having an IV inserted into my right arm
• Having said IV explode in my arm for immense pain
• Having an IV inserted into my left arm
• Throwing up one canister of Barium Sulfate
• Having a strange liquid inserted into my body that made it feel arm and as if I were going to pee
• Having a CAT scan
• Two bruised, painful arms
• Being told my appendix is fine, and that I probably have Colitis or Crohn’s

I love Tuesdays!!

Sure To Disappoint

Yes, yes… I know everyone expects a story or a new religion.  But all you get today are two videos of my dog, Colonel Bella T. Lightning Bolt Esquire.

So suck it.

Beware the quince, for it is the way to damnation.

I know I promised to make an update about the hilarious goings-ons at Wizard Quest this past weekend, but I have a new story to tell about an interesting conversation I had at work today, and I really want to spread the word as quickly as possible.  Keep in mind this is all based on actual events.

For you see, my friends, the road to damnation has been divined to me. If you seek the path of retribution, please, by all means, read on.

try to survive

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve updated, and I’ve actually had a few people request that I do (hey there, self esteem boost.)

But you all will have to hold your bitch ass horses and wait until I have enough spare time to update.

Which should be Thursday.  Stay tuned for rousing tales of adventure, magic, and mischief.

Either I’m from Minnesota, or I’m a great liar.

So at work we have new blood at my desk.  His name is Steve.  I call him Matango, Fungus of Terror because I don’t like any rendition of the word Steve.  Anyways, we’re sitting there doing nothing (that’s our job) and I decide to make some small talk.  It went something like this:

Me: So where are you from?

Steve: LaPeer.

Me: Oh gross.

Steve: We have one of the oldest working courthouses in the United States.

Me: Neat.

Steve: Where are you from?

Me: Minnsota.

Steve: Oh really, where at?

Me: Uhhh… (first name I think of) Glenville.  It’s a real small town.

Steve: Oh, where’s the nearest big city?

Me: Oh… like….. over an hour north………………

Steve: Oh, that’s cool.

Me: I’m totally bullshitting you.

Steve: Oh ok.

Me: I wonder if there is a Glenville, Minnesota…

So I check google maps, and I find this out.

That’s fucking weird.